タイガー&ドラゴン 2話 – tiger & dragon episode 2 eng sub – tiger & dragon 2005

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Tiger & DragonEpisode 2″Manju Kowai” Translator: sayapapayaEditor/Timer: sarcasstik Hello, everyone! My name is Donta!Not to be mistaken with Dontagos!! Don! Don! Don!! Allllllright! It's so nice and quiet in here.

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Like a funeral hall! Um.

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well, here at the Hayashiyatei rakugogroup, we have an odd pupil named Kotora.

He's actually a yakuza, but for some reason, hedecided to become an apprentice under Master Donbei.

What the hell do you know about my life? He's a man with a somewhatcomplicated past.

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However, all men are relatively simple.

When they see an attractive woman, they turn into beasts! Their thinking capacity shrinksdown to the size of a T-rex brain.

If they see a hole, theyjust want to stick it in! Oh, have we met before? Ryuji and Toraji finallymade-up, but not for long! .

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and that would be the gistof what happened up til now.

It seems as though Ihave some time left over.

Well, here's a short story for you! Mother, how are babies born? Well, a stork brings them over.

Then how are storks born? Well, former Giants player, Kouno (stork) brings them over! Don, don, don! A sacrifice bunt!! Uh.

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Tiger and Drag.

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“Manju Kowai” Oh, he's so cute.

I just want to eat him up! You must taste mighty fine!! Oh, stop, father! It's scary becauseyou look like you really would eat him!! Have you decided on a name yet? Well, we have Donta, Donkichi, Dontsuku, Donburi.

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what was your name again? It's Udon, sir! Now, isn't that silly! Well, you can be Ten-don!(tempura donburi) Father's already planning tomake him into a storyteller! You'll be the 3rd generation totake over the family business.

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right Donta? Donta? Ryu-chan, Father wants toknow what we'll name him.

Oh.

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You better hurry up!They'll name him Ten-don! That's fine.

No, it's not! H-h-hold on a second! “Celebrity you WOULDN'T want to sleep with:#1 Hayashiyatei Donta” He de-throned Degawa.

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! Wait, Shishou (master)! We haven't decidedif Taro will become a storyteller yet! Taro? Such an ordinary name.

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I think we thought too hard aboutit, so it ended up as a normal name.

At one point, we eventhought of naming him Mozart! Well, Sayuri-chan, so many happythings have been happening recently.

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A new grandchild, Donkichibeing promoted to headliner.

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What? Last night, we received a phonecall from the head of the association.

And they requested forDonkichi to be promoted.

Oh.

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well, that was unexpected.

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I'm sorry I beat you to it.

Not at all! Become a headliner ora bedpan-liner.

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anything you wish! When is it going to be publicly announced?I'll be the opening act for ya! Dear.

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With a chubby, Woody Allen headliner like this, we wouldn't be able to fill the whole theater! I, the prince of the rakugoworld, will liven things up! Well, did ya hear that? It'll be great! Yo! I heard you got a new boyfriend? Weeeell, to tell you the truth, I'm the one spreading the rumors.

How nice! I guess I gotta dressup and find myself a girl, too! Hey! Whoa! I thought they were mannequins! What the hell are you mad about? I ain't mad.

See.

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you are! I'm mad because you keepsaying I'm mad when I'm not mad! So you are mad then! I keep telling you, I ain't mad!! Calm down you guys! Both ofyou seem plenty mad to me.

Come here and listen! WHAAAAAT?! You took my Megumi-chan.

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? Oh! You're mad about Megumi?? You only realized that now?! Actually, I keep telling you I ain't mad! Oh, well there ain't nothinggoing on between us, idiot! You mean you guys haven't done it yet? Oh, well we already did that.

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twice.

He never asked how many times!! Oh, sorry.

Hold on a sec.

Hello? Toracchi? I'm atthe Tokyo Tower right now! Yup! I'm on my break.

You wannaeat dinner together tonight? Huh?! Quit calling me overstupid stuff like that! Huh?! What's your problem?! Huh?! Who do you thinkyou are, my girlfriend?! Alright, see ya.

Where were we? Nevermind already.

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Why are you giving up?! How can you let a boring guy like this stealthat girl with the beautiful, long legs?! You're 100% more funny than this guy!! Idiot! It doesn't matter if I'm funny or not! Asense of humor is meaningless to her! What?? You like her?? How could you let yourselfbe suckered in by her, too?!! Actually, why didn'tyou all just do her? It makes perfect sense if you've had afew drinks and had dinner together, right? Stop trying to look good, and just do it! Say something! I can't.

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Our brains work in an entirely differentway, so I just don't know what to say.

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Maybe I did do something wrong.

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? Okay, sorry.

I won't do it anymoreif you love Megumi so much.

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I keep telling you that I don't love her! When did I ever say that?? You never really said it, but it's pretty obvious to me! I'd tell you if I really fell in love with her!! Just leave me alone! Hey! What are YOU doing here? What did ya have to come for? Hey! Wait a minute! It's been a while, right? It's good for brothers tohave a chat once in awhile.

If you feel uncomfortable, Kotora and I will help out.

I'm leaving.

What?? I still have my night job to go to.

See you guys later.

Sit down.

Alright.

Hey Ginjiro, what'sKyuga-san been up to lately? What? He hasn't been coming to the office, and he doesn't answer his phone.

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You didn't hear? What? He got married.

And she's only 18! A freakin highschool student til this spring! It's a crime if you ask me! Jun-kun.

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I thought Kyuga-san wasdating your older sister? He was.

Pops was all set on the ideaof them getting married.

I dunno how to put this lightly, but mysis is a little “iffy, ” ya know what I mean? I ain't approvin of this, Kyuga! You ruined my precious Shizuka-chan! I'm terribly sorry, sir.

If you're sorry, why the hell'dyou go and do something like this!? Making her cry.

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!! Sis has been bar hoppin around Roppongiever since she was in high school.

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So, it's not like she's “Miss Innocent, “but Pops is just steamin right now.

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You'll probably get called in tomorrow.

It's your pops.

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I know it's not exactly themost mature thing to do.

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But it's our duty as yakuza to goall the way in a situation like this.

If not, how can I liveup to my reputation? Do you absolutely have to liveup to this reputation of yours? Of course! So what am I supposed to do? Cause a “happening” atKyuga's wedding party.

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what? What? I dunno.

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just seems kinda.

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minor.

Why don't we just threatenhis fiance or somethin? Idiot! I would never do somethinglike that to Kyuga! Come onnnn! We're just gonnateach him a little lesson! Then, Shizuka-chan will feel better! Right? Yup! I'll feel a lot better! Tora, I'm couting on ya! Donkichi's gonna be the next headliner.

I see.

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Is that why you're all depressed? Don't be stupid! He's turning40 this year.

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it's about time! Donkichi was a train stationmaster till he was 30, right? Being promoted to headliner injust 10 years is a commendable feat.

Don.

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Don't get down over every little thing! Getting up on stage isn't all whatbeing a storyteller's about, right? He's right.

You can continue doingrakugo, no matter how old you get.

You should keep making your tv appeara.

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“Keeping at it” is what got me the title:”The #1 Celebrity you wouldn't want to sleep with.

” I just gotta try harder.

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I'm a father of two, ya know? I'll try harder.

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I can do it! What do you think you're doing?! You're inno position to be sitting there sippin shochu! Me? Yes, you! It's all your fault that I have that stupid title.

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opening that store and putting Dad into debt! Make women want me! Make womenwith legs longer than 80 cm want me! That's more like you now.

READ  タイガー&ドラゴン 1話 - tiger & dragon episode 1 eng sub - tiger & dragon 2005

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Don-chan.

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you know.

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? What? You know.

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?! Oh, right! Pull yourself together, dear! Right, right.

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Well, Donkichi over here hasfinally made it to headliner! Yay! Isn't that great?! Yaay! Would you shut up already?You're too loud! Here at Hayashiya-tei, he willbe our first ever headliner! So we'll be announcing this to the public soon, and we need to put together a program.

Are you going to perform too, Tora-chan? Nope, no opening acts.

Onlythose above the 2nd rank.

By the way.

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who are you? I am Megumi! She's Megumi! So who are you again? I'll just kick her out.

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hey, leave! What are you doing, Tora-chan!? Why can't she stay?? How long are your legs? Are they longer than 80cm? They are, aren't they? Nevermind that.

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Tora-chan, you'll have to learna new story.

I've still got that debt to pay back.

38, 000 yen left! Oh, I know! We should try “Manju Kowai.

“(Scary Manju) What? I don't like scary stories! Shishou, is this “Manju Kowai”story really a scary story? Well, it's an opening act story, but with theright acting skills, it'll cause a roar of laughter.

I'll be telling it today, sowhy don't you come by and watch? A roar of laughter.

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? Torapyon, this manju is really yummy! Hey, shut up for a second.

Thank you all for coming.

Edokko have atendancy to bear with things out of pride.

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Oh, he's telling “Manju Kowai” today! Ahh, it's so nice to soak in the bath! Oh, sir? You're in the bath already? Mr.

Edokko customer, isn't the water a bit cold? What do you mean?? Thetemperature's perfect! Really? Mr.

Edokko customer? Actually, we haven't evenheated the baths up yet.

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That was just the tip of the iceberg.

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Come on in! Today we're just gonna sitaround and chat for awhile.

Come on in! Alright, I'll get some sashimi overhere, and we'll have a few drinks! That's what someone rich wouldsay! All we need is some hot tea.

Hot tea you say?? Hey! What took you so long!! I was scared out of my mind! What? I was takin a short cut when I cameface to face with a big blue-green snake! It was stickin its tongue out and starin at me! I was scared shitless.

I thoughthe was gonna swallow me whole!! It's nothing to laugh so loud about.

Every humanbeing has at least one thing he's afraid of.

I just can't stand the sight of a slug! What about you, Kicchan? For me.

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it would be a frog.

I'm afraid of spiders! I hate okera (mole crickets)! You're always okera (penniless), anyway! I don't like ants.

I hate horses.

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Wow, you folks are afraidof the weirdest things! Hey Matsu, what are you afraid of? Shut up! It's nothing to get angry about!! I can't stand listeningto this stupidty anymore! What, you're afraid of a snake, huh? All you gotta do isgive it a little squeeze and make a headband out of it! Afraid of spiders, huh? I could just throw a fewin my natto (fermented soy beans) and eat em up! The spider webs would make it even more stringy! Afraid of ants, huh? I'd just eat emlike sesame seeds on top my bowl of rice! Even though these sesameseeds wouldn't stay still.

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! Whether it be a horse or a cricket, no matter howmany legs it may have, I'd eat it! It's the truth! Really.

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well then Matsu, you'deat this table right here, too? Yeah, I don't see why I couldn't.

But thenagain, I don't eat things that might hurt me.

I don't get it.

Why was that funny? How the hell would I know? So you ain't afraid of anything at all? Nope! Really?? How many times do I gotta tell ya!? Oh wait, you'reso persistent that I just remembered one thing! I'm afraid of just one thing! Oh you are, huh? What is it?? I'm not telling you! Why not?? No, you'll laugh at me.

No I won't! Come on! Alright.

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I'll tell youthen.

I'm scared of manju.

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See! You're all laughing!! You're scared of manju?? That foodwith sweet anko beans in the middle?? Stop! Stop!! Now I have the shivers!! I'm gonna lie down for awhile! I'm so scared of manju!! Isn't that weird?? He's scared of manju! Hey! Why don't we playa little trick on him! Yeah! I've always had abone to pick with that guy! He always teases me about myappearance! What are we going to do? Buy a whole bunch of manju andset them all around his pillow! Think about it! He gets so scared just talking about it.

Imagine how it would be if actually saw a real manju!! It would be death by manju!! Alright, let's play a little game! There is one manju in here thatcontains wasabi horseradish! Wait a minute! Nobodytold me about this!! Hey Matsu! Wake up, Matsu! What is it?? I was sleeping so soundly!! Oh! It's manju! I'm so scared!! I'm sooo scared!! It's sooo spicy!! Oh no! Look at all these differentkinds of manju! I'm so scared!! It's so spicy!! It's chestnut manju! So scaaaared! It's soba manju! Soba manju, themost scary manju in the world.

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! Heeey.

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he keeps saying that he'sscared, but he keeps on eating them! I think we've been had!! Hey Matsu! What is it that you'rereally most afraid of in this world?! Right now? I'm most afraidof a nice cup of hot tea.

Thank you very much.

Good work everyone! “Most hated celebrity” “Celebrity you wouldn't want as aboyfriend: #1 Hayashiyatei Donbei” “Celebrity you wouldn't want towork with: #2 Hayashiyatei Donbei” “Celebrity you think will disappearafter this year: #1 Hayashiyatei Donbei” “Celebrity you want to seedisappear: #1 Hayashiyatei Donbei” “The most hated celebrity, runs away with the top title!” Hello! This is Yamazaki's cellphone! Yamazaki is unableto answer the phone right now, so I, Megumi will.

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Hey! Don't answer my phone! Hello?! I'm sorry to interrupt your afternoondrive with your little “sex friend”.

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Idiot, what are you talking about? Do you have any plans for tonight? Alright, I'll meet you atthe oden cart at 10, then.

Wait! You better come alone! Oden! Oden! Oden at 10!! Alright.

I want fish cake!! Okay, Torajiro?? Yeah, whatever.

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could you just decideon one name to call me from now on? It's been bothering me for awhile now.

After you left, my brother seemed really depressed, and lately he seems really suffocated when he's on tv.

Really? He seems the same to me.

He's gonna be the openingact for Donkichi's show soon.

That ain't good.

It ain't? He does a good job while he's practicing, but once he gets up on stage, he falls apart.

He can't handle pressure very well.

But they love him on tv.

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Those are just spur-of-the-moment gags, butin actuality, he's on the verge of a breakdown.

He may not look it, buthe's really pessimistic.

Things have gotten better since he got married.

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Even though his wife used to bemuch more famous than him.

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Famous? You didn't know?! Sheused to be an enka singer.

Whaat?? Here.

“Crying on Kokusai Dori (International Street)”.

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“2”? Part 2 was more popular than the first one.

His father's a master-comedian, his littlebrother's a genius rakugo storyteller.

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And on top of that, his wife was a famoussinger.

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no wonder his stress is building up.

Are you done with practice? Oh.

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stop it! Why not?? I had to waitfor half a year! Come on.

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! No! It'll wake up Saya, andI still have to feed Taro.

I understand.

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you wouldn't want tosleep with Japan's most hated celebrity.

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What? I understand.

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it would be terrible to sleepwith someone that no one wants to sleep with.

No one would want to sleep with a woman thatslept with a man that no one wants to sleep with.

READ  タイガー&ドラゴン 5話 - tiger & dragon episode 5 eng sub - tiger & dragon 2005

In other words, the only man that would sleep with a womanthat slept with a man that no one wants to sleep with.

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Is the man that no one wants to sleep with.

What are you talking about? I don't know.

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Damn.

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I don't know anymore.

Ryu-chan, you should rest for awhile.

You're starring in 7 shows right now, right? You're pushing yourself toohard.

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you must be tired.

Why don't you cut back a little? Tsuru-chan.

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My old producer asked me if Iwanted to make a come-back soon.

Of course not immediately, but Mother hasagreed to look after the children for me.

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I'm going to bed.

Ryu-chan! Can I move on to themain issue at hand now? Wait a minute.

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then what was allthis talk up til now? An introduction?? I think I might be in love.

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I told you that I'd tell you whenI really did fall in love, right? Well, I've been thinkingabout it a lot since then.

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I think I might be in love, after all.

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What am I supposed to do about that.

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? Oh, wait.

Are you talking about Megumi? Oh, damn you scared me.

Ithought you were talking about me! You stupid or somethin?! Why are ya telling this to meanyway? Why don't you go tell HER! What the hell is she doing here??I told you to come alone! It's not my fault!She wouldn't go home! I'll go get her.

No!! Don't! I know I don't stand a chance at this pointif she's obediently waiting in the car! “I'll be waiting at the office.

” -Kyuga What's with this “gal moji”(codes that high school girls use)? I gotta go.

Whaaat?! Watch my car.

Nice to meet you! We've met before!! Oh, sorry.

Your face just isn'timpressionable enough for me to remember.

Why don't ya come over here and say that!? You ain't gotta hide it from me.

The boss told ya to dosomething, didn't he? Yea.

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at the wedding party.

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Cause a ruckus? Not a ruckus.

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just a “happening.

” How minor.

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So what are ya plannin? Planning? I'm still obligatedto you for taking me in.

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If you side with me, you'll make boss lose face.

This is about reputation again.

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Her parents are really strict people! It took me, a 100% yakuza, 6 months tofinally convince them to let me marry her! If this is gonna end in a catastrophe, I wanna know what's going on! Alright, Toraaa??! Yes, sir! Can't you think of a good plan? A good plan, sir? I want daikon, a boiled egg, and fish cake!! Daikon, boiled egg, and fish cake, huh?? You want a square fish cake, too?? Yeah! Okay! Do you want one that's full ofjuice, or one that's as puffy as can be?? One that's as puffy as can be!! Why don't you just get out of the car?! But it's cooold.

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You're from Aomori, ain't ya?! It's sooo cold! Legs long like a king crab!! Are you drunk? No, I'm not! .

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or maybe I am! Actually, why don't you sit down? I don't think I can win whenthere's such a height difference.

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It's so coooold! You'll get warm after you drink and eat a little.

You think Toravolta willget jealous if he sees us? You call him Toravolta? Nope.

Let's eat! Um.

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Am I that unmemorable? I'd rather be hated than forgotten about.

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After all, I'm the younger brother of the#1 celebrity that no one wants to sleep with.

Sorry! I'll tell you beforehand, but Ican never get straight to the point.

You remember when you dissedmy clothes that one time? It totally pissed me off, so I hunted you down! I guess my face isn't very impressionablecompared to all those other guys.

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But if I absolutely had no feelings for you, I wouldn'thave gone through all that trouble to find you.

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See.

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look.

I haven't gotten rid of it yet.

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Half the reason is that I don't have any money.

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But I just couldn't get over you.

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likea joke with a forgotten punchline.

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Sorry! You probably wouldn't understand.

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Umm.

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uh.

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Ryuji.

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? Oh right, Ryuji-san.

Youmust be a very kind person.

Really? You know what? Country girls like me areattracted to kind men like you.

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uh.

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Ryuji.

Yes, kind men like you, Ryuji-san.

But at the same time, we'reattracted to cold men like Toracchi.

Even though we should reallydate guys like you.

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uh.

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Ryuji.

Yes, guys like you, Ryuji-san.

Uhmmm.

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It's Ryuji!! You have gotto be doing that on purpose!! You're really good at fast comebacks.

Getting praised over something like thatdoesn't make me feel better at all.

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I totally just realized something amazing!! Huh? Tora-chan and you, Ryuji-san, are Tiger and Dragon!! Yea.

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I guess you're right.

So that's why you guys getalong so well!! Isn't that cool?! Yeah, it's great.

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I knewthat but kept quiet about it.

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So why don't you keep quiet andlisten to what I have to say?!! Yes, sir.

Oooh! I fell asleep!! Stay asleep!! I had a dream that I peed my pants.

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Oh no! I really DID pee my pants!! I'm gonna go home now.

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I have to wake up early tomorrow.

I had fun! I had fun too.

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Let's drink together again.

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Yea! Can I get your phone number? Just ask Tora-chan! Like I could, stupid.

Hayashiyatei Donkichi has become headliner! It's an announcement, everyone.

Liven up a little, won't ya? Outta my way.

He's first to perform! Wherethe heck did Donta disappear to?! Maybe he ran away.

He doesn't take us seriously.

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justbecause he appears on tv.

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Why, who might you folks be.

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? I'll have you know that none of my pupils would everdo such a thing as not show up for a performance.

No matter how bad they might be.

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I'vetaught them to do the very best they can.

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! Please calm down! What do you mean calm down?!This is YOUR announcement program! How can you stay so calm.

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!Uh oh.

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nosebleed.

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Donta's missing.

He's the openingact but he hasn't shown up yet.

He's your brother, ain't he? Don't youhave an idea of where he might be hiding? It's the 5 minute warning!Hit the drum! Oh no, the drum for the first act has sounded!Who's going up there? I will! No, stupid! Stop! Did ya just call me stupid?! Oh, I'm sorry.

My mistake.

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I've memorized about an 8th.

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er maybea 6th of “Scary Manju, ” so I'll be fine.

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A 6th?! Only a 6th?! Let's not do this.

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okay?? I know, I'll go! No! There's no way you can go out there first! I'll go! Tsuruko-chan? Tsuru-chan? Oh my god, it's Tenkouji Tsuruko!!! Damn.

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she's so popular! Let's go! I went to Sensoji, looking for you.

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Took the aquatic bus to Sumidagawa.

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From Azuma bridge to Kappa bridge.

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From Rokku nakamise to Hanayashiki.

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Donta-san! Honey, oh, dear, you, Doooonta! Oh, dear, Donta, honey, oh, you.

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Did you find him? I looked all over Asakusa, but there's no sight of him.

I can only think of onemore place that he might be.

Where?? Right there.

Searching for you.

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all overKokusai Dori (International Street)! Bro.

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What the hell are you going to do? You nearly ruined such animportant day for Donkichi! I wouldn't be surprised if you get expelled! Maybe you're not meant for this job.

Why don't you just stickto your TV appearances!? Wait a minute! He really does want to do rakugo.

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You've left this householdalready, so mind your own business! Are you planning to kick him out, too?!This is exactly like what happened to me!! His circumstances are different from yours! He has a wife and two kids.

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That's exactly why I'mtelling you not to expel him! You can do classics nomatter how old you get! It ain't that simple!! Give me a break!! You say that classics can always be done whenyou're older, so what are you saying about my life?! I told classics from when I was really young! Areyou saying my whole life has been a waste of time?! You've got to be kidding me! Don't talk big just because you're young! You're just finding aneasy way out of things! Whether it be making a living on clothes or starringon television.

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you're just wasting your lives away! You think you can tell classics whenyou're older with absolutely no experience?! When did I ever say thatI was gonna do classics? When the hell did I ever say that Iwas gonna do rakugo?! Stupid old man!! Nobody's takin over the family business! As long as you keep acting like you're the bigboss, nobody's gonna follow in your footsteps!! How dare you talk to your ownfather like that?! You little punk!! It pisses me off because I don't knowwhether you're my father or my teacher!! Whaddya do that for? Nevermind.

This is my problem.

The more youget heated, the harder it is for me.

Ryu-chan.

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I apologize for today.

Tsuruko, Donkichi-san, I'm terribly sorry! But please, allow me time tothink more about my future.

And.

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mother's crying.

W-w-what?? Oh! I'm so sorry, Sayuri-chan! I keep telling you notto make Sayuri-chan cry!! It wasn't me, right?? I'm askingyou whether it was my fault or not! Hey, Ryuji! That was pretty uncool, wasn'tit? Sorry you had to see that.

No.

It wasn't uncool at all.

You're probably gonna say thatI'm too straightforward again.

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But, ain't it great having parents? You really are straightforward.

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Rakugo is interesting, but sois experiencing having a family.

I have experience in neither, so I'm learningall about it right now from your old man.

So, Ryuji.

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What? Come back more often.

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And show me a whole lotmore of what I just saw.

I'll never have a chance against you, after all.

Whaddya mean? Megumi-chan was saying.

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What? She said that you and I are a tiger and.

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Hello? You're answering it?! Whaddya gonna do about it, Tora?The wedding party's next week.

I know, I know.

Actually, the Boss has beentellin me the exact same thing.

Maybe we'll have to postpone it after all.

.

.

Whaaat? You better do it on schedule.

I'lltry to smooth things over with my pops.

No.

I can't put you guys out of your way.

.

.

What are you doing? This.

.

.

? Tiger, tiger, jirettaiga! Uhh.

.

.

all Edokko.

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.

You're telling “Manju Kowai, ” aren't ya? Yea, I'm going to tell “Manju Kowai.

” Well, around the Shinjuku, Kabuki-cho area, thereonce was a yakuza who was both attractive and smart.

However, one day, he decided to wed a young girlthat was half his age.

This caused some big problems.

The yakuza had been in a fairly longrelationship with his boss's daughter.

So he tried to think of a good plan.

.

.

“100 things you shouldn't do at a wedding party” Why would some guy like this become famous? Hey, isn't that one of the Hayashitei sons? His jokes are lame.

.

.

women especially hate him.

Poor guy.

.

.

Kyuga's new wife really hates him, too.

It's like her body reacts negatively to him.

Just by seeing his face, she feels likethrowing up, and goes into a seizure.

Really?? Well, that's good to know! So.

.

.

he called his men over to tell them this info.

I heard that Kyuga's girl hates Donta! Is that so.

.

.

? Well, he's disliked all over the country.

.

.

So why don't we invite Donta to thewedding party and cause a commotion!? Whaaaat?! Do you have any idea whatwould happen if we did that?! It'll be quite entertaining now, won't it?! Perform at a wedding party? Yea, and he's been real good to me, so I just couldn't turn him down.

Sure, I'll do it.

.

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but are yousure you want me to perform? Wouldn't you rather have Donkichi? No! It's gotta be you! Bro, it has to be you!! This entertainer.

.

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his name Anrakutei, Donta, was famous for being disliked around Edo.

Although being disliked is also a measureof how famous, or well, infamous he is.

.

.

But he had his worries.

.

.

So, he went to his younger brother, the shopkeeper Ryu, for help.

Can you teach me rakugo? Are you serious? Yeah, teach me a real good classy one.

Please! And so.

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as some of youmay already have realized.

.

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What? Donta's here?? He's here, isn't he?! Iwanna take a picture with him! She was what you would call a fanatic.

.

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No! When Donta comes, no matter how happy youmay be, you gotta pretend that you hate his guts.

Why?! I don't understand! He's really into S&M.

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He's a total masochist! Masochist? So the more you're mean to him, the better his performance will be! That makes no sense at all! What?! No! Stop!! To tell you the truth.

.

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Without any clue of what was going on.

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Toshiko-san! Congratulations!Don! Don! Don.

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Don't do the Don Dons! You'resupposed to be classy today! There's gonna be a “happening” today.

.

! Now we will have a special guestperformance! You've seen him on tv.

.

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! Please give a warm welcometo Mr.

Hayashiyatei Donta! Hello! Nooooo!! Thank you very much! Today, I would like to perform arakugo which I never do on television.

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NO!! It seems one member of theaudience does not like the idea.

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Don't worry about it! Just go on! A long time ago, when thiscity was known as Edo.

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NOOO!!! Toshiko, yell even louder! Donta's SO GROSS!!!! .

.

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SO GROSS.

.

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.

!! More.

Donta sucks!!! More! I HATE DONTA!!! Take off your clothes, Donta! Don't do it, Donta! Alright, it's off! Don don don! Dontagon! Wait right there!! Just watch.

That was Donta's final straw, andas if a fish out of water, no.

.

.

More like a broken dam, he went into a rage! This is my real job! Hold it right there, bride! No! I'm going in! I'm administering a finger enema to the bride! Sir, I have finished administering a finger enema! Alright! Next target, the groom's crotch! Yessir! Reaaady.

.

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seeeet.

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dodge-dick! Hmm.

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a moment of silence.

Don! Don! Don! Doncharakan! This is great! Daddy, are you sure she really hates this? Oh shit! Medetai (congratulations) Mede-Titanic! Hey.

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she seems to be enjoying this! What's going on here, Ginjiro?! This isn't what you said! Oops.

.

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? Oh I get it.

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it's “Manju Kowai” Donta you're so gross.

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too gross! Hey.

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you guys tricked me, didn't ya? What are you talking about, sir? Don't play dumb! She keeps saying she hateshim, but she's having a ball! You're a fan of Donta's, aren't ya?! Whaat?? I hate this guy! Don't lie! Then tell me what else you hate! Umm.

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I also hate houses with big yards, German-style kitchens, and plasma TVs.

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Excuse me.

.

.

Alright.

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I'll buy em for you.

Thank you very much, sir! I was soo scared!! Oh! I also hate adorable babies! Well, I guess you'll just have totake care of that one yourselves! Good job, Tora-chan! Here's your Coke-float! I think you did a fairly good job, Kotora.

Really?? Thank you very much! Oh, well here's this month's lesson fee.

Oh right.

.

.

I hate nothing more than money! What? That Anrakutei Donta thatcame up in your story.

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That was my son Donta, wasn't it?And that shopkeeper Ryu is.

.

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Sorry sir, I can't disclose that info.

Why not?? Where's this month's payment?! Oh! Right! I was just about to.

.

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Where's the envelope?! Oh no! I forgot all about it!Is this alright?? “Do not try this at home” Things don't seem to have changed at all.

Well, at least he can workwithout any doubts now.

Alright, I'd like to move onto the main issue at hand now.

.

.

Again? Huh? Well, the other night, I got to spendsome time alone with Megumi, right? We made a promise to see each other again.

.

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And so.

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I'd like to askyou for her phone number.

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Are you even listening?! Look! That's not any ordinary fellow, is it? That ain't no ordinary fellow! Are you Hayashiyatei Kotora?.

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